I doubt it!

Some people say fear is the worst feeling in the world. I dont think so. Fear is very finite. You know what the source is (not always of course, but often) and there is no gray area.

Doubt. Now there is a frightening word (I do realize the irony of this sentence). To me doubt is the worst thing in the world. It eats away at the foundation of everything. It makes you disoriented, insecure and helpless.

I doubt my teaching abilities daily, and I think this is necessary to keep me on my toes. But that is not the kind of doubt I am talking about.

Recently I had occasion to doubt my abilities in judging people, and it really threw me. The deatials are long and tedious, not to mention no longer relevant, but the feeling of what it felt like has been haunting me since. I have had the rug pulled out from under me on several occasions and being a Kat, I usually land on my feet, but this? This was different.

I pride myself in knowing the gist of people right off the bat. Even in friendships or relationships that dont ultimately work out, I maintain that the initial characteristics that attracted me to that person still remain. I am generally attracted to goodness, and I have to say I have been surrounded by good (albeit lacking in other departments on occasion) people in my life. So when life is progressing on track and WHAM! You are thrown SO way off track that you are shaken to the core, then, you doubt everything!

How does one get over that? In this case thigns fixed themselves, and I wasnt worng after all, but had I been, how would I have ever trusted my instincts again?