TOO much TOO soon

Mom's gone and Im sad. She is actually still in Bulgaria but we had a HUGE dumping of snow and they got all nervous about getting to the airport in time tomorrow so they left a day early.

I felt cheated. Not becasue they left a day early but because it went SO fast, and I had to work for so much of it. I wanted to show my mom so many things, like a wedding dress I had seen and liked, (I know its a bit premature for that) and just hang out with her, but I blinked and she was gone.

I also spent the last night they were here at the school Christmas dinner. Had I known that was her last night here, I would have done something with her. I had planned to take her to Allegro Sunday night, the nicest restaurant here in town, but it didnt happen. Instead they spent 3-12:30 either waiting for the bus (it was 2 hrs late) or waiting IN the bus. It got stuck en route. It must have been maddening! My poor mom. Couldnt it have waited ONE more day to snow?? Meanwhile my sister and I were both worried sick, I in bed attempting to sleep , unsuccessfully I may add, and her driving to Toronto from Shippensburg. PA. sending each other SMSes and getting all riled up.

And now, I myself will be on a plane in three days. Between now and then I have a million things to do, which I will of course not get done because I am SICK! Coughing up green aliens and feeling overall fatigued. DAMN! I have very few Christmas gifts and I feel like crap about that. What to do??? I promised S that I would rest after work each day and not worry about anything. A promise is a promise.

On a much brighter note, I am bursting at the thought of seeing S again. It all went SO fast and six weeks ago we thought we would die waiting for each other. Now we are both pumped and happy. Hope I get there easily and not get stuck on the way. I'm heading to Sofia Wed. night to be on the safe side.

Well, on that note, I better go pack. I wont be able to do it tomorrow. I have too much else to do.

Secret Santa

Well today being Friday and the last Friday I will be here (till next year that is) Albena and I decided to set up the Secret Santa gift exchange.

As luck would have it, I got Ava, and I got together a few things for her. I gave her a book of mine called "Writing from the inner self" for starters. I have read parts of that book and I think she could benefit from it. I have.

I also gave her a framed photo of Cambodia (Angkor Watt) which I had taken last year at this time. I gave her this because eventhough I am not a religious person, I am quite spiritual and I was truly in awe of this place, and I believe she would feel the same if she went there. Maybe we could have a school trip. Now wouldnt that be a treat. Oh God! To take the kids there would be a truly awesome experience.

She also got a bracelet I got in Cambodia and a necklace I got in Thailand. So all in all she got a pretty international selection and I do think it was all to her taste, which of course is the most important factor.

We had our gathering in the cafeteria during third period and my mom came to meet the kids. It was her last chance as she goes back to Sofia Monday and flies out Tuesday. Where DID the time go??? She was impressed by my kids, and said they were all such good kids. And I thought about this, about how fortunate I am to be here teaching high school instead of in western countries where you just dont know what the kids will do.

All in all I think I love all my kids for different reasons, from the talkatives ones whose spirit is never broken, to the quiet ones who remind me of the quote "still waters run deep" to every one in between. I can honestly say there is not ONE student that I would remove from my grade 8 class. They are all such different characters and they complete the picture so well.

So to cut a long story short, we exchanged gifts and we had a wonderful time. We sat around talking and laughing and my mom later said that she thought they all loved me a lot! I hope so.

Tonight I am actually going dancing with them eventhough I am not over my cold yet and should really stay in bed with a book, but I promised and so off I go in just half an hour.

God help me!!

Our first show and tell

When I was in school, not only did we have to take part in the annual speech contest, which was a nightmare for me, but also in show and tell. I remember the fearfull faces of all the kids terrified of being judged and horrified at being laughed at.

So I decided to pas on the torch and make my kids go through it. Plus, public speaking is an art they need practice at, as "stupid" as it might seem to them.

Well our first show and tell was last Friday and we did OK for a first run. Most were admittedly nervous, and ill prepared. 3 minutes was apparently an eternity to them. But I was glad to see some who were right into it, and who brought things that meant a lot to them.

Among the prized presentations were; a seashell brought it by Plamen which he got on his first scuba dive with his dad, Zvezdelina and a photo of her sister, Ava and a book on Van Goghs' biography, and Sarah and her love for her school uniform.

There were of course a lot of people with stuffed animals, and it took me back to me and my red Monkey. I miss him. He is probably in a garbage dump now. Santa brought me my red Monkey when I was 7 and I had to leave it in Iran when we left in 1979. I miss him. He was namelss but the first doll I got truly attached to. At least I have George now :)

Plovdiv

One thing to remember when traveling with 2 senior citizens is that they dont move at your pace. Another thing to remember when traveling with two SC of Armenian descent is that they will complain about a lot. Hence my weekend in Plovdiv went something like this:

We left in good time for the train on Saturday morning. It leaves at 9 so we left the house at 7:45 because everyone kept telling me it was FAR from town. (When will I learn FAR is relative??). We got there in less than ten minutes and we had over an hour to kill.

I bravely approached the ticket window to get our return tickets. The ticket seller shooed me away. I did the "I have no idea what you are saying so you better deal with me now" routine and so she did. I have learned when traveling that its better for them to just deal with foreigners than to try to explain whatever it is they have issues with.

So I said "Return Turnovo, Plovdiv" and made a circular sign with my hand, then said "Three tickets", holding up three fingers. I knew the one way was somewhere around ten each and return, I was told was about 14 leva per person, quite the savings than purchasing two one ways.

I got handed a ticket totalling 30 leva and 90 stutinky. Well she had only done the one way. I said. "NO! RETURN. Turnovo, Plovdiv, Turnovo." Still nothing but Bulgarian crustiness coming my way (customer service isnt their forte here). I began getting progressively irritated with this blond fifty something dame behind the window. WHY PUT A COMPLETE NON ENGLISH SPEAKER IN A POSITION WHERE SHE WOULD BE DEALING WITH TOURISTS?????

So, as I do with my students who dont listen, I switched to Armenian. I said "Hima incha? doo es skhalvel, ches oozoom mek hat el tepes?? Yalla depi, te che ke khepem vor ooteh gres!" Did you get that? No? Neither did she. My mom did though and she was laughing her head off, which didnt help this dames frustration any. (FYI, the above says: just because you made a mistake, you dont want to print another ticket? Hurry up and print one or else I'll smack you so you spin into a figure 8-an old Armenian saying much used in my household!)

I even got a piece of paper from her and wrote on it:
Turnovo Plovdiv, 10 leva
Turnovo Plovdiv, Turnovo 14 leva.

She mumbled something else in Bulgarian, typed something in the computer, showed me 18 leva, and I said "OK DO IT!" And she still grumbled at me. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT?????

The above being the condensed version, this discussion went on for a few minutes with volumes in Armenian and Bulgarian rising higher and higher, and finally I whipped the ticket back into her little slot and said "Tepi te che hashiver ke hasnem" and she seemed to get the threat I had just made on her life in Armenian and printed me three return ticket. "Janet doos ga" was my answer. Sorry that is not translatable!

We waited in the communist bulding which as Armenians say could blow over with one deep breath, and froze ourselves till the train finally arrived. As the passengers piled in, they all left the premises for smoke breaks leaving the door wide open behind them. What is with that????

The train was also communist. It was a bajillion years old and cold. We sat and I listenend to my mom and R complain about the cold for 5 hours. It was a lovely trip into town :)

We got out of the train station in Plovdiv and it was raining. So we took the first cab. BIG MISTAKE!

He headed in the wrong direction. BIG SURPRISE. and I whipped out the map and started pointing behind us. He stopped a total of five times to ask directions, by which time I was again going off in Armenian saying things to him in a tense tone which made this humongous man rather uncomfortable. He was actually squirming in his seat because he knew I was mad and knew he was ripping us off. I was barking at him in Armenian and so was Robert. Together we had him shaking in his boots. By the time he FINALLY found the hotel our bill was 7 leva. His meter was clicking awfully fast. I wasnt giving that fat slob of a thief 7 nothing! I jumped out of the car, ran into the hotel, and brought out the concierge. I told him to tell the taxi driver that if he doesnt know the address, he shouldnt pick up the ride and said he wasnt getting what was on the meter. I stupidly handed over a 5, which I found out on the way back was 3 leva too much and stomped into the hotel. All this and I felt bad! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY??????????? WHY??????????????

I have no bigger hate-on than the one I have for taxi drivers. Korea ruined me, Thailand made it worse, and Bulgaria has topped it off for me. Yet I still felt bad. I am such a sucker!

The hotel was divine. It had a bath tub. Need I say more?

We headed out to find the Roman Amphitheatre immediately as we didnt have much daylight left, but we got caught in the rain with no umbrella, so we took refuge in a coffee shop and had espressos and Cappuccinos, which they make exceptionally well here, and headed back to the hotel. Such an excursion!

I soaked in the tub for close to an hour. Heavenly it was, all the while getting and sending sweet messages to S in England who was on a bus and wished he was in Plovdiv instead. I got out rather prune like, got dressed, and we went out for dinner.

Old Plovdiv restaurant proved to be so so. The thing I have learned about restaurants not only here but certainly in Korea as well is that all the food is the same and it gets really boring really fast. So I cook most of the time. I also dont like the double standanrd of restaurants having 2 menus with 2 prices, so I dont go often. Salads were ok but the other food was not so great and we had a mediocre meal, punctuated by complaints (of course).

We returned home full but unsatisfied (the best part of the meal was a surprise dessert I decided to order called "Ashura" and with the Persian connotations to that word I had to try it. It was barley in a sweet pudding, with nuts and raisins, not too sweet, just right but mysterious all the same). I read and spoke to my honey, and then went to sleep.

Sunday proved to be a vast improvement, not in the weather but in the willingness of everyone involved to get out and DO stuff. We headed downstairs for our breakfast and then went into old town. We walked around taking photos and buying souvenirs and then found the Armenian Church. We went in and sat down. It was sweet smelling with the smell of Khoonk (insence) and sat there listening to the chants I have heard thousands of times as a child. Suddenly I realized I didnt know what country I was in. I honestly felt transported to Iran where I used to attend church at school. It was mandatory (kind of).

I realized how at home I felt in that church and it didnt matter what country I was in. It was strange to feel that way because I am really not that religious, but it wasnt so much about religion. They say smell is the strongest memory, and I think the khoonk took me right back to "Institute Mariamme" were I went to primary school. Being a Catholic establishment, we had a church attached to it. And incidentally, why was there a Catholic Church with the same exact ceremony as the Orthodox Armenian church? I just thought of that and I do not have an answer to it!!

So we left with our souls fed AND satisfied and headed back to the hotel which was directly across the highway from the church. We took our bags out and decided to go in search of the Amphitheatre again. We went in a loop to end up again just across the highway and we ended up on the wrong side of it, and couldnt see it. I guess it wasnt meant to be, and with the train leaving in an hour, we felt pressed for time and took off.

The cab ride back to the station was 5 minutes and 2 leva!!!!! That's right. I have NO idea what the first cabbie was doing to start with but if I see him again, he'll be in deep doo doo! BASTARD!

I wont even go into the train ride home except to say it was the longest thing I have endured second ONLY to the 11 hour bus ride I had to endure from Quito to Cuenca in 2003. It smelled stale and smokey in the train and it wasnt all that warm, though warmer than Saturday, and the highlight of the trip was finding out the loo dumps onto the tracks. A disgusting idea if you ask me but apparently its true. YUK! Dont walk on the tracks.

What is the moral of this mind-numbing blog entry. I learned three things I will never do; I will never take the train again. I will never take a cab that is not "OK" taxi again, and I will never EVER take directions from a Bulgarian. I discovered map reading is a western art and if you live somewhere chances are you dont know the names of the street but you know the name of the guy who owns the shop on the corner of the street you need to turn on, and hey WHAT GOOD IS THAT TO ME????

thank God the week is over

but I wont be getting any rest because I am playing tour guide.

Having people over is a lot of work. I have never done this before. I have usually been the guest. In Korea I had a couple of friends come stay a night or two, but no one longer than that.

And are these feeling of fatigue pre-holiday psycho sematic? I mean would I feel as wasted as I do if i didnt have holidays coming up in 2 weeks? Or is it all in our heads? I seem to not be able to get enough rest these days. S said today that he slept ALL day and I SO envied him (and his pillow for being right near him through his snooze). But really I feel as if my arms each weigh about 50 kilos and its such an effort to type this.

And it seems to me that the kids are getting noisier by the day (kids if you read this TAKE NOTE) and I cant get any rest anywhere. And my marking is piling up.

Tomorrow we head to Plovdiv. Honestly I wish I could sleep all weekend, but that is not to be. I will sleep in England it seems. I have a symphony of snores, and Oscar has recently joined in, in the bass section (how can a dog so tiny make such a deep sound) and so even the earplugs are absoloutely useless. so I go to bed cross eyed and wake up fatigued. God help me!

Having mom here is great though. They overheat the place but at least when I get home there she is waiting to pounce on me and give me all the love I have been lacking. Today I came in and smelled chicken soup. I said to myself, I hope this smell is from my place and sure as hell it was! Thanks for moms loving cooking, a simple chicken soup smelled and tasted like home to me. Now I have to convince her to make the "kitchen sink" soup. (More on that later)

I just had my first parental call. I have a student who has transformed from a weak one to quite a strong and enthusiastic student. I think I can honestly say Albena and I can take credit for this because we pushed him, and pushed him even when he was kicking and screaming. We said we wouldnt back down whatever he did and we explained to him that we were pushing him because we believed he was capable of better, not because we were ganging up on him. So he came back with an email last week saying he will never give up! Music to my ears. And he is keeping his word.

So I had a short chat with his mom because he is in this horrid hotel we use as a dorm. Now I was an odd duck as a kid (some would argue that I still am, of course)and I was teased to death by my classmates. If I had to live in that environment, my goose would have been cooked (like all the fowl references??) so I think this living arrangement is enormous pressure for these kids and it takes a real team player, a joiner to make it in that atmosphere. Now that is not a criticism, but this particular student is finding it understandably hard. And his mom and I just discussed him moving out on his own.

Shall I say that conversation made me feel rather old just now? I think I hadnt noticed how much of a teacher I am! YIKES! Feels good in a odd (duck) sort of way. Responsibility has its priviliges!

Apologies

"Sorry seems to be the hardest word" is a line from a song by Elton John.

Why is it the hardest word? I have never had a problem admitting my mistakes and apologizing. In fact it feels good, not only to rid yourself of the guilt, but to disarm the other person, who is often angry at you, and make ammends. So why is it so damn hard for people??

I had to apologize to my boss today. As Philip used to say; I have the "Sherman tank approach" and as my grandmom used to say, I don't "Think before I speak". I am much much better at this latter part, and see myself as quite diplomatic nowadays, but what I dont realize is that in countries where English is not the first language (of my superiors), I cannot assume that what I say is being taken as what I mean to say.

Hence I offended my boss, who I otherwise have quite a good rapport with, and respect a great deal, and as a result felt the iceberg of disapprovement from him yesterday and today. This, I find the worst part, of course. I hate people brooding because of something I did. I am not a brooder, and I really cannot (and do not know how to) handle that.

The "Sheman Tank" in me didnt allow me to let this blow over and dissipate in its own time, but rather forced me to confront him yet again. So I went up to him and told him I had a feeling he wanted to tell me something, and tell he did! (with a little coaxing on my part)

After we had said our peace, I apologized. In turn he apologized, and everyone felt better(I think. I know I did!). As usual it was a question of misunderstanding on the part of both parties involved and apologizing made me lose that lump in my gut, that heaviness on my back. People should really apologize more often! It feels damn good.

Momentary insanity

Well, in a flash of what can only be described as "Lack of reason" I gave my students my blog address. I don't yet know if this was a reasonable thing to do, but I am sure they will tell me as they will likely read this entry too. HI KIDS!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!

I was teaching the word "resent" today and so I made a sentence on the board "I resent it when my students ignore my requests" and then tried to ellicit the meaning of "resent". Hate came up, and eventhough I said no, not hate exactly, one of the girls said "You hate us???" Man if only they knew how wrong that statement was (and actually they might if they read this).

I felt very bad because I saw the look in her eyes, and how horrid the thought of my hating them was. I cannot imagine any teacher hating her students, let alone me. Getting frustrated a bit, yes, but hating is a awfully strong word and it broke my heart to see her so hurt.

Anyway, they will all read this and know how impossible that notion is.

On to more pleasant things....

16 more days till Christmas holidays for me. YAYYYYYYY

I have most of my gifts, I have a few to get still. I want to get a couple of books for some of my students here but I cant seem to order them in, and so this is going to be a problem. When I think of all the books in the library in my old high school that no one was reading, it breaks my heart. I could go to ANY garage sale and pick up Anne Franks diary, for example, but here? Nope! Not in English!! Why we dont have it in the school library is beyond me.

Interesting thing: I asked the UI class what had improved about their English and a few said "Our speaking ability from having Darina in the class". She is the Romanian student who I was taking Bulgarian classes with. Having her in the group 24/7 is helping the other students because they HAVE TO speak English with her. Its their only common language.

Anyhow, I need to grade some essays about Elizabeth, and also some word quizes. Tomorrow is another short day, but an early day, and Im already falling asleep.

Visit

Last night as I was on the bus coming home from Sofia with my mom and Robert, I realized she is 70 this year, and she made the trip all the way here in the winter because I needed her. She was planning on coming in the spring, when it would have been much nicer and much easier for her, but I needed her here and she came. She must love me. I AM lucky.

I once wrote her a letter for her birthday instead of buying her a gift, because I was in Korea. It was about balance, and the fact that I have had a balanced life because she made up (ten fold) for the lack of a father in my life most of the time. When she first got the letter, she said she loved it and cried every time she read it. I still cry when I read it. But then she didnt mention it again. My mom is known to have a not-so-great memory, so I chalked it up to her forgetting about it, and in the back of my mind thought she will read it anew one day.

Well last night she brought it up, and of course we both got teary. She brought up the exact part I mentioned above, and really that is the part I want her to remember. She did more than make up for lack of a dad. She did make our lives complete. She was both parents for me for most of my life. And then I wonder why I can handle so much? Fortunately in this case it seems I am similar in these traits and dont get overwhelmed at taking on a lot. After all, its scientifically proven that woman can multi-task better than men.

So after all that, practically speaking, Im thrilled my mom made it here in one piece. I now have my negs from Cambodia, Tahiland and Iran (which were left in Korea THANKS SO MUCH ALLISON) and I have a few other things she brought me to make life better; a new computer, my Kilim, and so on and so forth.

I will have a great visit for 2.5 weeks with them, and will take them to Plovdiv and Varna. Then 2 days after their departure, we I will go to Manchester for 2 weeks. I already have my ticket, and 17 days will fly thanks to mom and Robert.

Life is suddenly looking better.

Clue

Every day I write the date on the board. Gives students practice at saying it properly. Also ESL students are notoriously bad at reading out numbers so it helps a bit.

On Fridays I also write TGIF under the date, but today I wrote TGMMIC. Ava (my favorite student and someone I see as a future Carson McCullers) got the clue immediately. She called out "Thank God my mommy is coming". Yes. Thank God indeed. I realized today that she is 70 this year. Not an easy trek for a 70 year old to make, and she isnt in perfect health either. I mean not too bad, but could be better. She must love me a whole bunch to come here in the winter. I am heading to Sofia tomorrow morning to meet her and Robert and we will return to Turnovo Sunday. Its rainy and cool here and the temp. is about 10 degrees colder today than it was yesterday. FIGURES! I wish they had come last week. It was balmy for this time of year.

We are finally watching the last half hour of Hotel Rwanda with the 9th graders. Then I am done for the week. I am tired. I went to bed at 10 last night and got up at 5. I will get to sleep in a wee bit tomorrow as Im on the 10:40 bus out.

Better recharge my phone and iPod.