Apologies

"Sorry seems to be the hardest word" is a line from a song by Elton John.

Why is it the hardest word? I have never had a problem admitting my mistakes and apologizing. In fact it feels good, not only to rid yourself of the guilt, but to disarm the other person, who is often angry at you, and make ammends. So why is it so damn hard for people??

I had to apologize to my boss today. As Philip used to say; I have the "Sherman tank approach" and as my grandmom used to say, I don't "Think before I speak". I am much much better at this latter part, and see myself as quite diplomatic nowadays, but what I dont realize is that in countries where English is not the first language (of my superiors), I cannot assume that what I say is being taken as what I mean to say.

Hence I offended my boss, who I otherwise have quite a good rapport with, and respect a great deal, and as a result felt the iceberg of disapprovement from him yesterday and today. This, I find the worst part, of course. I hate people brooding because of something I did. I am not a brooder, and I really cannot (and do not know how to) handle that.

The "Sheman Tank" in me didnt allow me to let this blow over and dissipate in its own time, but rather forced me to confront him yet again. So I went up to him and told him I had a feeling he wanted to tell me something, and tell he did! (with a little coaxing on my part)

After we had said our peace, I apologized. In turn he apologized, and everyone felt better(I think. I know I did!). As usual it was a question of misunderstanding on the part of both parties involved and apologizing made me lose that lump in my gut, that heaviness on my back. People should really apologize more often! It feels damn good.