my students

I've been spending a fair bit of time with my students outside of school, and I am about to do more. In the past 2 weeks, I have had half my class over for egg-painitng which was great fun, went to the park a couple of times with some, and had easter dinner (as you know) with one of the families.

Oddly enough, outside the classrooom, I dont feel that much older than them. Is that strange? Am I trying to hold on to my youth? At 37 I shock myself regularly at the number of years I have accumulated and how little material wealth I have to show for it. Arent I supposed to be a home-owner, business-owner, well on my path to a solid career in some serious and stressful field, with a family and kids in towe? Guess not, since I have none of the above! My only dependant is a furry stinky four legged pooch who gives me most of what I need when my love isnt around.

This feeling of settling down is really starting to effect my every decision, and the timing too. One more year outside the country may not seem like much but I want to go home NOW. Not next year, not even next month. I actually want to go home right now!! But I can't. 8 weeks isnt an impossible wait. I have lasted this long after all, but even a few months in limbo makes me crazy at the thought of it.

Going back to the kids here though, what I was meaning to say was that I finally realize the difference between my kids here and Korea is that I want to spend time with them outside the class. Their thinking, imagination, humor and social skills seems have developed in more or less the same route as mine did at their age. In Korea I didnt see much similarity. Asian culture sure is alien to me. They seemed on a different plane to me all together. I guess it just wasnt the place for me, though if an easy well paying job came up, I sure wouldnt turn it down.

So it's Friday again and we have a staff meeting. **GRIN**

I got three flights from my travel agent and all have stop overs. Do I go with the shortest stop-over to make Oscars life easier eventhough its with the least reliable airline, or do I go Lufthansa and make him wait 5 hours in a lay-over? I don't see why I couldnt just take him into the cabin with me. He would just sleep on my lap anyway! I hate doing this. I really do. This is the last time!

Amazing how much noise 5 females can make. All the teachers are behind me and they all feel the need to scream at each other at close range. WHY??????

I'm crusty today!

8 week countdown

8 weeks today I hope to be on a plane home. Its before the end of the school year here but my cousin Andrew is getting married and I really want to be there. He is a good cousin after all and he danced his feet off at my first wedding, as did his brothers so I would like to do the same. Im really really REALLY looking forward to seeing my family and this was re-inforced by spending easter dinner here with my Bulgarian family.

As I mentioned I was invited by Avas mom to their home for Easter dinner. Easter here was this past Sunday, so I went over with a cake. I meant to bake cookies but somehow that never happened, and I purchased a nice fruit cake instead.

Well the meal was great, naturally, topped off by the most delicious veal I have tasted yet. I really devoured that, as it was sooooooooo tender and delicious. But over and above the delicious food, fine wine and powerful Vodka, the company reminded me of what we expats miss being away from home. I miss laughing with my family and as Armenias say "Gelkhis talen" (non translatable) am returning for just that. I am going to get totally and completely hammered with my uncle Leo like we used to do at Christmas dinner and laugh and laugh and laugh....

So Sunday night, I adopted Avas uncle as my own, and I think he didnt object (not that I gave him any choice) and decided to replicate my family experience. The only drawback was that the process was slowed down by constant translation by Ava and her cousin Christine, to the point where Ava lost her voice towards the end of the evening (sorry Ava and Christine. That must not have been too much fun for you) but otherwise it was great fun and a warm fuzzy feeling followed me home, including a good wine buzz.

The next morning I offered to take a family portrait of them all in the park and Oscar was the honarary member in almost all the family shots. I hadnt done anything like that in a while but like riding a bike, it all came back in a flash and I think I got some truly beautiful shots of them which I hope to process tonight.

On another note, my friend Vanya who I met on the Celta course came Saturday evening. She is a sweet young thing (I feel so old- KIDDING!!!) and we had a great time together. She came at a good time becasue on Friday Oscar and I had a meeting with a not so friendly dog and I was nervous to take him out after that. But Sunday V , O and I went up Tsaravets, which took about 4 hours in total. Oscar enjoyed the hike but expired like a burnt-out light bulb after the walk. We had a great meal last night at EGO, and I put her on the bus today back to Niche Serbia. I am due to visit there in the next 8 weeks.

In fact 4 of the next 8 weeks are taken up already by trips, and that suits me just fine. It dulls the pain of being away from my love for almost ten weeks total. I MISS YOU MY LOVE!

I am looking forward to three things most: Putting my arms around my mom and sister and kissing them (minchev meronneret tanem- also non translatable), making a gourmet meal with Franco and spending an evening eating, drinking and watching some dunb film, and dancing with my love at Andrews wedding. I cant put those in any order becasue I just cant wait to do any of them.

SOOOOOOON, VERRRRY SOOOOOON

April 17th

My best friend died 15 years ago today. I still remember the light in the air, the rush to get to the hospital that morning, and the feeling that came over me when I saw her room door was closed. I knew what lay beyond. I had taken her ice cream which she had asked for the night before. Then I had to call the gang to tell them all.

I remember that day so vivdly. Why is it that we remember bad days so clearly and not good days as clearly? Not sure, but wish it was different. I miss her. I wonder where we would be now if she was around. I think this all the time in fact. She would have loved Shahen. Im certain of it. They are so alike in so many ways.

This weekend was Easter, and my pumpkin left on Saturday. Our visit was fabulous of course, with a few bumps; food poisoning, sickness, time constraints etc. but overall it was a delight to be together again and now we have to endure 9 weeks till we both land in Toronto for my cousins wedding. I guess I better RSVP, but I want to book my flight first to be sure.

I had a great day teaching though I had 6 classes back to back. It was hard but it was a pleasure. I was prepared for them all and took it easy. Kids will take as much rope as you give em (to hang you with). Haha

This weekend a friend may be coming from Serbia for a visit. We met on the CELTA course last summer and I really liked her spunkiness and her spirit. Hope she comes. We will go to Sofia and have a nice night out Saturday, and then head here because I am invited to Easter Dinner at a students home, Ava's in fact. She looked after Oscar this past weekend and he seems to prefer her to me. When she came to return her things, he slept between her feet, not mine.

I can take a hint!

I have even thought of leaving Oscar here with someone who loves him. I am really scared to transport him back. I cant do it I dont think, but have thought again and again if this would be best for Oscar. I cant be selfish, but I also don't think I can leave him behind, even if it IS with someone he prefers.

Im really blabbing here. So many topics in one blog.

ONE more topic. Varna. Shahen and I were there for a few days and we really liked it. The first 2 nights we were out of town by the seaside. It was gray and chilly but it was still really lovely there. Varna is also a huge and booming metropolis. If we were to buy a place here in Bulgaria, that would be the place to head to. I would love to have a small place there looking onto the water. I dont know if this would be affordable, but its worth a look. Varna seemed to have construction happening every which way you looked, so why not one for us?

I cannot open Blogger at home any more, so blogging will be sporadic from now on. I am truly sick of the computer, but what can I do. Only 9 more weeks till I am home.